Tuesday, May 22, 2007

RAINBOW 6 REDUX





Well I’m sure most of you have been asking “Where is that Miguel and what has he been up to?” I know I ask myself that same question often. Well my friends between the hours of well 9pm -12am CT look no further than your Xbox 360 console and you’ll find me playing more Rainbow Six Vegas. Sure I’ve already posted about this game before but for those of you living in the closet there are new maps and game modes all of which enhance the game playing experience.

Two of the maps are subtle differences of existing maps and then there are 3 others that are brand new and very cool to play. There is also an assassination game mode now where the object of the game is to kill a civilian in the care of the opposing force. Strangely people were quick to dub him Dr. Phil. It’s odd to hear a room full of guys bragging about who will be the first to put hot lead into Dr. Phil’s ass but it’s still pretty funny. I wonder if Dr. Phil knows….

Anyway as you can imagine the guys I started playing with are all claned up elites by now and have no time to mix it up with yours truly. (except for your friend and mine Lock N’ Load aka Darnell aka BK Darnell who’s Xbox apparently imploded and he lost all of his save data) So now I’ve had to go out and make new amigos. And there seem to be more and more women playing as well which adds its own flair to the game as JZ can attest to. I remember the time he chose to make a female avatar and was subsequently chased down by his own teammates and “cyber humped” …classic. But more and more mainstream ladies are picking up their MP5’s and doing battle to include Mrs. JZ and that is very cool.

And then there are the not so mainstream ladies that have joined the fray, like my new friend Cinemapink. Pink has turned online gaming into so much more, while gaming she casually puts it out there that you can check out her myspace page the official and I guess the personal . From there it’s a small cyber step to her “other” page where for just $2.40 a minute you and Pink can share some intimate moments not directly related to Xbox although I guess the marketplace blade should still apply. I have two words to describe this whole deal… FUCKING GENIUS.

If she just worked 4 hours a night (You know ‘cause she has to take care of the kids during the day… By the way, what’s up with all strippers having kids, it seems like it would be a real lifestyle conflict.) That’s still over 130K a year for masturbating. Gentlemen if I could make 130K a year masturbating not only would my hands be smooth and soft to the touch but I think I’d enjoy my work more.

Anyway I see it as just one more reason to play Xbox… oh on a side note I’ve decided to get the web cam attachment for my 360…. you know, for the achievements. Ill see you guys out there.

Friday, May 18, 2007

PSA-From Mike

It's tough to follow penis power, but I need to get you people some awareness on something. Some folks, myself included, use a wonderful product after completing the morning constitutional. Namely, moist towelettes. Nothing leaves you feeling fresher, except for perhaps a biday, but I'm not French. However, and here is where the PSA comes in, in between placing the moist towelette in the ready position (activity 1), but before you give the command of execution(activity 3), ensure you do a double check on the package label(activity 2). The reason being, there are specific wipes for that type of activity and others whose primary purpose is to sanitize hands. I failed to perform activity #2. It turns out, ha ha ha, hand sanitizers use alcohol. Mmmmm.

Long story longer, as I was walking back from the command bunker to my office, I began to feel a burning sensation and started to break out in a cold sweat. Once seated, I realized what my mistake, in fact, was. Let's just say that had I been in a coma, I wouldn't be now. I was more awake through my next set of meetings than I've ever been. Don't worry though, I'm fine now. The IV and Valium helped.

This PSA is brought to you by Cottonelle and the letter "R". Don't forget to Read before executing.


That is all.

Tuesday, May 01, 2007

Penis Power

I am in pain from laughing at this. My favorite comes at about 3:38-"That man won't even buy you some shrimp from Long John Silver's...and what that plate? What $2.99? But he can give you a mouth full of sperm, a rectum full of sperm." Jabba the Hut to her right is her mother. Vagina Power!



There is more batshit insane stuff from this woman on youtube. Shit, I think I cracked a rib from her Halloween program clip. I now have a headache from laughing and have become dehydrated. "I'm pilotin' the pussy. See, ya'll gotta be a pilot over the pussy!"