Saturday, September 16, 2006

Monday, September 11, 2006

Dear United

Fuck you. And fuck O'Hare while we're at it. Let's go through the numbers. First, you cancel my flight. 2nd, you have 2 agents working at the customer service counter to handle the 300 people in line to rebook cancelled flights. 3rd, you send one on a dinner break. 4th, I tell you I need to be there by 8 AM EST and you say, "We can have you there at 10:15 AM EST". 5th, you finally get me on the 21:10 flight but forget to enter something in the system thereby preventing me from printing a new boarding pass. 6th, this causes me to have to renavigate the line in number 2. 7th, you reschedule the flight to 23:55, then 22:40, then 22:55, then 23:20. Final takeoff time 2335. 8th, you lose my bag you sons of bitches. 9th, you don't deliver it by noon the next day like you say you will. 10th, fuck you again. Congress should have required you bastards to implement some processes that might actually work when you filed for bankruptcy bailout. And don't tell me, "oh it was weather, nothing we could do about that". Innovate motherbitches. Final arrival time to hotel: 0330.
Don't worry about me, I'll just be here waiting for my BAG with my contact lens solution while my eyeballs dry up. 2 months ago this wouldn't have been an issue, but because you cocksuckers won't spend the money for security, you can't tell semtex from Pantene Pro V. In short, in the immortal words of Dick(less) Cheney, go fuck yourselves.