Sibilance

Check one, two, sibilance...Is this thing on? Check, check.

And Again...

on the return trip. Touche United, touche.

Dear United

Fuck you. And fuck O'Hare while we're at it. Let's go through the numbers. First, you cancel my flight. 2nd, you have 2 agents working at the customer service counter to handle the 300 people in line to rebook cancelled flights. 3rd, you send one on a dinner break. 4th, I tell you I need to be there by 8 AM EST and you say, "We can have you there at 10:15 AM EST". 5th, you finally get me on the 21:10 flight but forget to enter something in the system thereby preventing me from printing a new boarding pass. 6th, this causes me to have to renavigate the line in number 2. 7th, you reschedule the flight to 23:55, then 22:40, then 22:55, then 23:20. Final takeoff time 2335. 8th, you lose my bag you sons of bitches. 9th, you don't deliver it by noon the next day like you say you will. 10th, fuck you again. Congress should have required you bastards to implement some processes that might actually work when you filed for bankruptcy bailout. And don't tell me, "oh it was weather, nothing we could do about that". Innovate motherbitches. Final arrival time to hotel: 0330.
Don't worry about me, I'll just be here waiting for my BAG with my contact lens solution while my eyeballs dry up. 2 months ago this wouldn't have been an issue, but because you cocksuckers won't spend the money for security, you can't tell semtex from Pantene Pro V. In short, in the immortal words of Dick(less) Cheney, go fuck yourselves.

Ms. Gears

A certain comment by a certain commenter about a certain ball-tingling video game character made me go find this:

Squish Mitten

I am posting this for Dylan who apparently has a case of blog-o-phobia. It's debilitating.... We all need a little more Foxtrot Uniform Charlie Kilo in our lives.

Game Thumb

In an ongoing effort to till my work productivity the guys game me a subscription to Gamefly for my birthday. So a big thank you goes out to them for that…. For those of you living two caves down from Osama, Gamefly is the gamer’s version of Netflix which is another work killer. One can spend countless hours on either site selecting or reviewing untold numbers of games or movies.

This was so cool that I had to go out and buy a PS2 to maximize my game playing potential over two separate platforms. (Just in time as well, because the Xbox kicked it just last week…. Hummmm $50 to replace the DVD drive or $499 to buy a 360… what to do, what to do) so now I can use this space to review games as well. Lucky you guys.

But Miguel you say, there are other perhaps more qualified sites that do that already. Perhaps indeed but those sites leave out key factors that you might want to know such as Ratchet & Clank: Up Your Arsenal causes seizures. Yup, I always thought seizures were an urban legend made up by parents to keep their kids mainlining Super Mario Bros. but its true. Not since the days of the original Wolfenstein has a game affected me in such a way.
Damn Obani Moon.

However, that said I fucking love this game and found it to have smooth game play, slick graphics, and a funny story line. Add to that the fact that JZ’s wife has beaten it 5 times gave me a little motivation to kick some Nefarious ass. Due to the upgradeable arsenal of weapons, ships, and armor there is an incentive to replay the game after you’ve finished the original story line which only adds to its value. I’m going to have to give this game 5 out of 5 stars, now if you'll excuse me I’m off to collect some sewer crystals...

This Should Close the Loop on That Whole Mess

I killed the video because I was tired of it playing in the background while reading Miguel's brilliance. I had autoplay set to false, I swear. Anyway, the Oozinator is old news. Now it's all about adding effects to Colbert in a grainy video acting like the Star Wars kid who had effects added to his original grainy video. The snake continues to eat his tail. Film at eleven.