Don't call it a comeback

Man this blog needs a little pick me up just about as badly as I do.

I went back to the gym yesterday for the first time since our cruse to Mexico. I know, I know that was almost a month ago. But I wanted to make sure that I was in shape for the cruse just in case the guys retaliated and gave me a banana sling of my own. Because if they did you know it would have come down to a double dog dare for me to wear it to the ships pool and you know Id have to do it as refusing a double dog dare is tantamount to social suicide. So, I wanted to look good # 1 to preserve whatever dignity one can while wearing a free from ball sack and #2 I thought if I rocked it maybe I cloud get some gay dudes to pay for the ridiculously overpriced ships drinks.

Anyway since then I think the blog and my 24... 12... 0k more like 8 inch guns haven’t received the love they need. Going back to the gym is always fun. I think I lost about 20 pounds and about 4 reps off my bench which means that putting up 150 may have caused some orbital hemorrhaging. Which was cool because they had an eye patch on hand, and for those who know me well know that I love a good eye patch.


This is all some kind of metaphor for saying that Ill try to be better about keeping the blog up to date and stuff. And I hope the other guys will as well.

For You Star Wars Fans

Somehow I missed this one...

Dr. Mr. Guy at the gym,

<-----Is not something that you need before going to the gym. Now I know that working out in a "wife beater" is cool and I have no problem with that. In fact, I'm sure you feel quite liberated in doing so. But why in the name B.A. Baracus would you feel the need to slather J+J's signature product all over you before coming. C'mon, nobody looks like that when they sweat. You were "glistening" and men don't do that. Anybody that's been in the gym for a bit can tell the difference between a sweater and an oiler. The oilers mysteriously have no other telltale signs of sweat just that shiny skin.
So really, why on the day you're doing squats would you come in with that stuff all over your shoulders. I call that out as a safety violation. Plus, I mean, c'mon, it's pretty much all guys in there anyway. I know you were trying to draw attention to your shiny man shoulders, but dude, oil?
I've seen some interesting folks at the gym: obviously the oilers, the girl at 24 hour fitness that had an adam's apple bigger than mine, neck chains guy at the world gym, speedo wearing, tear away pants guy at world gym...
You know, the more I think about it, a lot of these guys put on a show about being the ultimate tough guys. But when you show up in breakaway pants with a speedo underneath and then actually rip them off and pose...Or you show up in a tight-ass wife beater with baby oil slathered all over your body, you want the attention of the other guys in the room. Which is really kind of disturbing. When I go to the gym, I show up work out, and leave. Granted, thanks to Miguel, I do have a nice tangerine number that I could wear, but nobody wants to see that.
So listen all you gym freaks, leave the bedroom stuff at home. Please, for everybody. Leave your baby oil at home for use with your "special" movies. Chains and bondage really have no place in the gym.
And for all that is holy....
please...
no speedos.

FREE WEEKEND PLAY

This game is the Shiznit.... download it and play for free this weekend.

Yeah...I Don't...Uh...Hmm.

Wow.

Did Somebody Say Tokyo Drift?

Miguel mentioned the new F&F film. It's no secret I have been following Formula D ever since a drifting exhibition blew my socks off at the San Jose Grand Prix (San Jose has a grand prix now- apparently Alviso was otherwise engaged). Here's a typical shot of some typically exciting action:

Fuck YEAH. Note the smoke and aggressive angle of attack into the, uh, straight...why the fuck are you sliding down the straightaway? And so the magic of Formula D becomes evident. No goddamn reason, that's why. Utterly and totally pointless. Don't miss the spoiler on that 240SX- lord knows you need downforce...going sideways...at 40 mph. Their car control is admirable, sure, but like an astronaut practicing tantric sex alone on the moon, ultimately pointless. The excitement was so intoxicating my dad got a Type R sticker for his Oldsmobile Intrigue. So when they decided to make a movie about the phenomenon, I said why fucking not? In Tokyo? Perfect, like a baseball game played in Baseballville. I bet somebody uses a samurai sword, too.

Gym Jones

Guys here is the link to that gym modeled on what could only be called the principals of Fight Club. Bellow is an excerpt from their knowledge section:

“What's your problem? I think I know. You see it in the mirror every morning: temptation and doubt hip to hip inside your head. You know it's not supposed to be like this. But you drank the Kool-Aid and dressed yourself up in someone else's life.

You're haunted because you remember having something more. With each drag of the razor you ask yourself why you piss your blood into another man's cup. Working at the job he offered, your future is between his thumb and forefinger. And the necessary accessories, the proclamations of success you thought gave you stability provide your boss security. Your debt encourages acquiescence; the heavy mortgage makes you polite.”


I don’t know if they are new profits or full of shit, I guess that’s for you to decide. What there is no doubt about is that their workouts are no joke, be sure to stop by their video section. I don’t know if it's all a bunch of BS or not but if I lived in LA I’d be tempted to go stand on the porch, just to see what I got.