Hard to follow the anatomical discussions we've had around here lately, but after seeing the trailer for Ghost Rider I felt compelled to post something. I'm not really sure how Hollywood works, but I'm pretty sure a bunch of guys like us sit around and come up with "great ideas". I'll leave the great ideas in quotes because I think you all know how some of these "great ideas" work out. Like the time, Miguel decided to take a trip into the desert alone. Now I'm not going to lay anything at his feet, I'm just trying to frame this right. So there's a bunch of guys that sit around in Hollywood and act as the arbiters for new movie ideas. "Great ideas" like having Bruce Willis play harmonica in a movie. "Great ideas" like having Steven Segal make any more motion pictures. Any. More. Please stop. By my count, he's got 2 already released this calendar year and 4; 4; 4; in production. Those are to be released this year. That may be a record actually. Oh, and he's got one filming for next year. To add insult to injury, when Big Steve isn't saving Eskimos/young ladies/kicking bad guy ass/eating, he's layin' down some mean chops in his (I shit you not) blues band. Does Steve have no one that will tell him the truth?
Then there's poor Wesley Snipes. He was great in Blade and The Art of War. Short on talk big on ass kicking. Let's check the book to see Wesley's '06 stats. Ah! What do you know! Wesley is hot on Big Steve's tail with 3 released this year, 1 more in production for this year and 2 already lined up for 2007. We're talking hundreds of dollars for Wesley here based on Detonator, The Marksman and 7 Seconds. By the way, I actually fast forwarded through 7 Seconds to the end. That's how bad the movie was. But I digress.
This brings me to two movies that don't need to be made. #1 Roadhouse 2: Last Call. That's right kids, Roadhouse 2 because the original Roadhouse was so good. Really, Jake Busey as the bad guy? C'mon. Even the movie preview guy with the cool voice was probably like, "Are you freakin' kidding me? I have to read this crap?" Of course, I'll see it anyway, because it has to be seen, the Swayze or no.
Which brings us back to Ghost Rider. If there's one thing that really gets me in the 21st Century it's too much CGI. Not only that, by the looks of the trailer, we can also tack on my second pet peeve: cheesy CGI. Here's the deal, if you can't get an actor to play the main character but have to use CGI for a good portion of the movie, it's a kid's movie. Just animate that shit and release it as such. Comic books are comic books for a reason. If you have a completely CGI character like the Hulk, or say Ghost Rider, why do you even bother signing on as an actor. What the hell was Nick Cage thinking? And Sam "No One Can Grow A 'Stache Like Me, Bitch" Elliot reading the voice over? Well, I think you know. The movie preview guy quit after reading too many for Big Steve, Wesley, and the straw that broke his back, Roadhouse 2.
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